Are you feeling sick? Do you need to go to the emergency room? Well, here is a quick 7-Lessons guide to assure you have a good hospital stay. Although the suggestions are not limited to these 7 recommendations, it is a start.
Lesson number one: this is not a resort in Cabo, so leave your sunblock and swimsuits at home, do not pack a suitcase! bring only the utmost essentials, we rather see you in a hospital gown then jeans and a tshirt, it makes assessment easier. Also bring a list of your medication, please don't bring a sack of pills that we have to sort through. Oh and on that note, please know your medications, don't tell me you take a red and a green pill.
Lesson number two: pack your patience. You will have to wait, unless you're on the brink of death, we work by prioritizing our care, not always first come first serve. Please be patient, starting with your arrival to the emergency room, be glad you're not being rushed in, and understand that those who are rushed in, may not come out alive. And when you get admission orders, you may have to wait some more until a bed is ready for you on the units. You have to wait for results, when you get a scan done, a radiologist have to read and interpret the result before it is available for you. Also, waiting until late night to go to the hospital to check out that painful toenail will not make it any faster, you will wait as well.
Lesson number three: we are not trying to starve you! There is a reason why you can't eat or drink anything, just ask your nurse why? They'll let you know. And don't get mad and go into a fit because you didn't get your breakfast tray. If you CAN eat, because you are not going for any testing or procedures, if you ask nicely I will bring you something as fast as I can, return to lesson #2; you may have to wait a bit though. And returning to lesson #1, this is not Cabo, not a resort with celebrity chefs, chances are 99.9% of the time you will hate your food.
Lesson number Four: Food sucks. Although you eat whatever you want at home, while in the hospital we attempt to feed you the diet that is best for your condition. Again, ask your nurse why you didn't get any salt in your tray. That goes for when you're at home as well, following a strict diet in accordance to your condition and disease and that will help keep you from coming back. You may also be on a fluid restriction, so help us help you, comply!
Lesson number five: very important; compliance! The doctors and nurses spend years in training, and even though they may vary in how they handle the care and their interpersonal skills, they do have your best interest in mind. Their recommendations are based on many evidence-based researches and what is proven to keep you healthy. So just do it!
Lesson number six: if you don't want to comply with the treatments after multiple attempts by the medical staff. Don't get upset when the physicians decide to discharge you home. There are people who actually would want our care that will need your bed... thank you!
Lesson number seven: Pablo Escobar is not a physician here and we will not supply you with a fix of narcs because you are in "pain". And you are not original, pain is subjective, but we know when you present with drug seeking behaviors, remember lesson number four? Doctors and nurses spend years in training studying such conditions and behaviors, so we know!
So that's seven quick lessons for being a good patient. So lay back relax and enjoy your hospital stay. Us, nurses and your doctors are working really hard to keep patients alive, you included. So, pardon the wait and the bad food, but here are some medications that will keep you alive until we meet next time. That is, if you follow recommendations of course.
From our team here in the hospital, we hope you enjoy, and thank you for choosing us to attend to your medical needs. Until next time, hope you stay healthy!
The Dude Nurse
Klaus Campos, BSN-RN